WHY BUY NOW?
Pre-orders count towards first-week sales, which are crucial to how well the book performs overall and also how many bookstores will pick it up. Also, if I sell enough books in the first week I will gain the distinction of “New York Times Best-Selling Author,” which will help me attract a boyfriend. And the more boyfriends I have the less likely I am to die alone. DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE ALONE? Finally, the book is actually a few dollars cheaper before release date, so save yourself a few dollars! BUY THE BOOK!