Dating Sucks: Wait, Is This a Date?

Photograph by Zeke Ruelas (an outtake from “Get it Together,” available now for pre-order) Editor’s Note: I love this image by Zeke Ruelas. It was taken for a chapter from Get It Together about weight loss and body dysmorphia. I know I look absolutely insane but it makes me laugh so hard. Okay bye. Dear Dating Diary, The other night, I went to dinner with a guy I’ve been “hanging out” with. I say “hanging out” because I have no idea whether the two times we’ve hung out were actual dates or if they were networking. The first time we…

The Emotional Undercurrent of Interior Design

Dear Renovation Diary, Yesterday I was at Emily’s house shooting some promo stills for Get it Together! when I got news from my mom that the contractor I hired to renovate their kitchen told her it was going to be another two months until it was finished. I was furious. This project started nearly a year ago has taken months longer than expected, cost twice as much as expected, and been filled with compromises I didn’t care to make. I called the contractor to check in on what was going on and completely lost my cool. I tend to be…

Dating Sucks: Is Your Prospective Date a Lunatic?

Dear Dating Diary, I recently received this message from a prospective date: Hi Orlando! I hope you’re week has gone well. I want you to do a little exercise for me tonight. Stand in front of the mirror and say this: I’m really just a self-validation whore who’s on dating apps just to get attention with no real intention to meet anyone. Through my profile I mislead people into thinking that I’m looking for something real, when in reality I’m totally unexcitable and disinterested in the whole thing and that makes me a pathetic liar. I don’t care about other…

A Year Depressed

On January first, a switched flipped and the heavy feeling of depression I felt for all of 2017 was magically lifted. I don’t fully know how to explain it. I just woke up on the first day of January and was fine. I think it had mostly to do with my outlook and a bit to do with my physical state. I was a bit resigned last year to the fact that I’d be depressed all year, which probably became a self-fulfilling prophecy. I also had an injury and was in pain for the second half of last year, so…

Superior Servingware for Thanksgiving

Dear Diary, This year is the first year in quite a while (since college?) that I’m not doing Thanksgiving with my family. This is for a number of reasons, mainly that we have nowhere to host it. My parents kitchen is aeons away from being finished (due to a series of frustrating delays that have nothing to do with the fire that almost burned their house down), my sister and her wife just had a baby and don’t want that many people in their house, and my brother and his wife always spend Thanksgiving with her family so they can…

An Epic Place Card for an Everyday Dinner Party

Dear Hosting Diary, As part of my fun partnership with the American Express Blue Cash Everyday Card, I’ve had the fun opportunity to add elements of epic to my everyday. If you know me, you know I love a dinner party. I try to have dinner with friends at least a few times a week and I love hosting. I also love making gifts for people, so today’s post was inspired by two of my favorite things: giving people stuff and making them come over to keep me company while we eat together. If you’ve been following my adventures the…

I Went to Italy to Find a Stove For My Mom

Dear Travel Diary, Spring 2017 was a crazy combination of insanely stressful and overwhelmingly depressing. I was in the depths of a post-break up, post-lay off slump. I dealt with these issues with some old go-to’s: wine and wallowing. I’ve since bypassed that part of the mourning process. I’m not out of the woods, but I’m slightly less of a mess  than I was a few months ago. The sadness still lingers, that feeling of hopelessness about the future combined with a realization, upon turning thirty-five a few weeks ago, that life didn’t end up being anything like I thought…

Dating Sucks: On Depression, Loneliness, and Fake Happy Endings

Dear Depressing Diary, WHY U SO DEPRESSING, DIARY? JK I totally know. Read on… I find myself fixating on one element of my previous life with my ex. He used to wake up earlier than me (I hate the morning) and get some international phone calling done (he’s a producer who sometimes works on films in Europe). So every morning I’d wake up to him SCREAMING French into the phone (he’s French). It wasn’t that he was mad or yelling or anything, it was just that his voice is too loud. Like he doesn’t have volume control. When we would go…

Dating Sucks: Everyone Is Looking Up

Dear Dating Diary, Something I’ve noticed about myself is that I’m constantly comparing myself to people who are more successful than me, who have more money, who are more in shape or seemingly happier. There is a natural human tendency to compare ourselves with other people we perceive to have more or be more than ourselves. This permeates into the dating world and affects the way we interact romantically, but today’s conversation isn’t confined to dating. It’s more about an issue I see in myself and in people around me. The issue is that we can basically never be satisfied, that…

Dating Sucks: How to be a Good Friend During a Breakup

Dear Dating Diary, I was in a coffee shop yesterday, in a part of town I never go to (near Burbank? I have no idea where I was) and I ran into someone I hadn’t seen in a long time. It was a close friend of my ex-boyfriend’s (X). I was at this guy’s wedding six months ago. We had him and his fiancé (now wife) over for dinner a few times. He wasn’t a best friend or anything, but definitely someone I’ve shared a drink and a laugh with more than once. But I kind of froze when I…