Lately I’ve been working at home a lot. Sometimes I love working from home. I can drink coffee all day whilst listening to NPR and not wearing any pants. But sometimes it makes me feel like a crazy person. The late summer heat makes me feel restless and being alone all day with only Facebook chat and the crisp, clear voice of Lachshmi Singh to keep me company can totally isolating. Thus, I’ve decided to go back to my roots as a lunatic artist. I figure if I have to be alone all day I might as well become a weirdo recluse that makes dumb paintings and spends the rest of the day rearranging pots of succulents. That is pretty much what I do anyway so this wont be a major change of pace for me.
This is what my dining room looks like right now. Mess. Kind of like your mom.
According to my scientific calculations, I like the color blue.
My glamourous (and clever) friend World-Famous Interior Designer Matthew Lanphier had this canvas in his living room, waiting for me to paint it. In the interim, he put some vinyl lettering on it and hung it above his sofa. Let this be a lesson to everyone. If you don’t have an artist friend you can manipulate into making a painting for you, just think of something witty and write it on a blank canvas with vinyl letters (you can get these at any hardware store). This will make people think you are smart and popular and everyone will want to be your friend.
For some unknown reason my new thing is painting geometric shapes and juxtaposing them against organic, watercolored fields of color. I have no idea what this means but it probably has something to do with the fact that I was raised in the middle of the woods but always wanted to have pores so tiny that it looked like my skin was made out of plastic.
This is what my bedroom looked like until this morning. I was never really satisfied with the composition of the art on the wall but I didn’t know what to do so I just lived with it. Kind of like Katie Holmes lived with Tom Cruise for five years before she ran screaming and flailing from the house.
I used to be obsessed with gallery walls and wanted to put them everywhere. But I’m sort of getting tired of them and now I just want enormous paintings everywhere. Collected gallery walls have their place, but you just can’t beat a big ass painting.
This is what the bedroom looks like now. I made this painting for Matthew Lanphier but now I kind of want it for myself. I hate it when that happens.
I had to put the painting in my bedroom because I loved it so much I wanted to sleep with it. Wink.
I’m also experimenting with having this gigantic cactus in my bedroom. I know it’s terrifying, but I love how sculptural it is. Plus, I grew it from a baby and I’m really proud of how big it’s gotten. I’ve had it since I was sixteen. Which wont be any consolation when it falls over on my face one night while I’m sleeping and I have to wear a Phantom of the Opera mask for the rest of my life.
How pretty is this succulent? The bright color makes me so happy I want to bite it in half.
A fun fact about me is that I am dating a convict and he stole this succulent and gave it to me. Part of that story is true (but I wont tell which part).
Like most modern homosexuals, I like to casually display books and plants to let people know that I not only love literature, I also love nature.
I made this piece for my kitchen. You really can’t go wrong with a pink painting. Ever.
I found this mask at Goodwill for $5 and fell in love with it. I have no idea where it’s from because I’m not a professional anthropologist but it looks like it could be from Mexico.
Perhaps I haven’t solved the issues of boredom and isolation that come with working from home, but at least I have a few more things to ogle while I do. And what is the point of life if it isn’t to sit by yourself, ogling the objects around you that will never be able to replace actual human companionship?